Football Brainiac

I’m not really a Falcons fan, nor do I despise them. They’re just one of many (mostly NFC) teams that I’m completely indifferent about. That is, of course, unless they’re playing he Steelers. So I can’t say I have any real feelings about the woeful situation this team is in right now.

What I do want to rant about, though, is this disturbing trend of head coaches ditching one team to coach for another, literally. Bobby Petrino showed absolutely no class whatsoever with his actions Tuesday. He ditched the team with no consideration of anyone else but himself. He had four years remaining on his contract and he left in less than one season! Now he joins fellow weasels Steve Spurrier and Nick Saban on my ever-growing “People I Loathe” list.

After hearing the news of Petrino’s classlessly abrupt departure, all I could think of was, “Thank God this kind of stuff doesn’t happen in Pittsburgh!”

Think about it. How many controversies really take place around the Steelers? Few if any at all. It’s been well documented that the Steelers are a franchise of consistency. From the top to the bottom of the organization, you know what to expect from the Pittsburgh Steelers. They are dedicated to others and others reciprocate that commitment in return.

And it obviously works. The whole if-it-aint-broke-don’t-fix-it mentality is the kind of thing fans really appreciate and opponents admire. They’ve had three coaches since 1969. They sport the same old-school uniform. There’s nothing fancy or flashy about ‘em.

In my opinion, this team is the common man’s team. That’s why their fan base is so popular all over the world because everyone can relate to the Steelers.

So many fans treat the Steelers as if they are actually a part of their family. My father, for example, used to plan our family summer vacation around training camp so we could make our annual pilgrimage to Latrobe. I mean, my God, how many Steelers fans do you know that actually refer to them in the first person (”We’re doing really good this year” or “I think we need to draft a center”, etc.)? Almost every Steelers fan I know does!

The reason we act this way is because this football team has an identity similar to our own. It has woven itself into the fabric of our everyday lives.

So as I reflect on the changes and uncertainties that surround teams like the Falcons, it’s comforting to know that for 38 years there’s one thing I can expect: traditional Pittsburgh Steelers Football. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Just one more reason why I love rooting for the Steelers.

Dear Joe Gibbs,

I waited a week to write this letter out of respect for the death of Sean Taylor. But I had to let you know how I feel.

I know you’ve had a hard week or so coping with this senseless tragedy. Our thoughts and prayers are with your team as well Taylor’s friends and family. In the grand scheme of things, football becomes pretty irrelevant when compared to life and death.

But I have to ask you, coach, “What in God’s name were you thinking last Sunday against the Bills?”

I know you’re probably thinking that I’m going to criticize your inability to rememebr the NFL rule which declares that no team can call a timeout on simultaneous plays. But, no, that’s not my beef with you.

You see, Joe, you should not even have been put in that position at the end of the game. You know, when the Bills moved into field goal territory for the fourth time and kicked the game winning kick. No, you should have won this game long before that and it all started with your first defensive play of the game.

What You Did Wrong
When I heard through the grapevine that your team intended to only field 10 players on defense for the first play of your first defensive series signifying that Sean Taylor was missed, or couldn’t be replaced, or something, my first reaction was, “If I’m Buffalo, I’d throw it deep!”. And, although they didn’t throw it, your defense did give up a 22 yard run. I knew Buffalo would try to get something and it paid off.

How could I think such a terrible and unfeeling thing as to take advantage of a team coping with an emotional loss, you ask? Simple. I have no heart!

Actually, it has nothing to do with the condition of my heart and more with the fact that this is a game and, regardless of your personal life, you only have so many plays on offense to try and win the game. Remember, the Bills are still in contention for a playoff spot. They’re going to do all they can to make it.

What you did may be sweet and you may have won a lot of brownie points with the media for this gesture, Joe, but in my opinion, this foolish decision single-handedly cost your team the game and probably a playoff spot as well!

How It Came Back to Haunt You
How did that play affect the outcome of the game? Well, the Bills may not have scored any points on that drive, but here’s what it did do:

That drive ended in a punt. On the ensuing drive, your Skins drove down the field well, but they eventually stalled out. You sent in your placekicker for a 28 yard field goal. That means that the line of scrimmage was actually at the Buffalo 10 yard line!

Had your team fielded eleven players on that first play (like you should have), they would not have given up that 22 yard run. You could have started as much as 22 yards closer to the end zone, giving your offense a much better chance at scoring a touchdown!

The Bills offense is pathetic without Marshawn Lynch. They could only muster four field goals and a safety in this game. Let’s face it. They’re not a come-from-behind team. A TD instead of a field goal here would have put your team up and basically won the game 20-14 because the field goal at the end would’ve been a moot point.

Your efforts to pay homage to Sean Taylor were completely shattered. You put 10 men on the field to honor him when you should have honored him by winning the friggin’ game! After all, that’s what he would have wanted, right?

To make matters worse, now that your Redskins have defeated the Bears on a short week, your team could have been 7-6 and in the driver’s seat for a wild card berth. Now your 6-7 and need some help to make it in. Shameful, Joe. Just plain shameful.

Well, I hope for Sean Taylor’s sake, your team still makes the postseason in spite of your stupidity. But if they don’t, you can blame your emotions for getting the better of you. I thought I should let you know, Joe.

May God bless the Taylor family.

Sincerely,
The Ranting Slovak

Why? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Why in the world would Mike Tomlin allow you, Anthony Smith, to guarantee a Steelers victory this week? Shouldn’t there be a gag order on your team leading up to this game or something? What would possess you to say stuff like this?

“We got our swagger back on defense and we’re playing great ball. And they’re playing great on the offensive side, too. I think we got a real good chance of winning the game and we will win the game.”

Smith was asked if that amounted to a guarantee.

“Yeah, we’re gonna win the game,” Smith said.

First of all, I didn’t know the Steelers defense had lost any swagger! Did you just flip through “The 101 Worst Cliches in Football” or something? That comment doesn’t even make sense Anthony!

Secondly, haven’t we learned that guaranteeing victory only worked for Joe Namath once? Everybody tries to guarantee a win, but they just end up eating crow. Take Joey Porter, for example, this season before the Raiders game. Guess what? The Dolphins lost! When you do these types of things, Anthony, you’re just giving the opposition incentive. And New England doesn’t need anymore incentive!!!!

This is the second week in a row that you’ve made an “intimidating” remark before a game. Last week you jawed about hitting Bengal receivers should they come over the middle. Granted you did lead the team in tackles last week, but you also personally handed Cincinnati their only TD of the game after being called for a 15 yard face mask.

Seriously, though, a few weeks ago I was reading somewhere about how the Steelers have no real vocal leaders. Perhaps you’re trying to take a Joey Porter kind of role on the team. I can understand that to a point. But, Anthony, you’re only in your second year. Let your play do the talking right now.

Sincerely,
The Ranting Slovak